The Art of Banishing Loneliness
by twouble
Summary: Marauders first year, Remus is homesick. One shot.


**A/N: Random short marauders first year one shot type thing… poor Remus is homesick :(**

**Disclaimer: Alas, I own nothing, not the characters, not the setting, not even the English language…**

Remus Lupin curled up in the corner of the room, tilting his head gently to lean against the window and struggling to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, he bit down gently on his lip and wrapped his arms around his knees, not moving. He stared out into the grounds sadly, there was a group of third years playing catch with a battered red quaffle, whilst a larger group of first and second years watched them. A little way into the distance stood a small number of sixth year girls, sticking close together in a tight group. In fact, everywhere he looked he saw groups of people, friends, people who knew each other, who knew this place, people who were settled here, people who were happy.

But Remus wasn't settled and he wasn't happy, not in the least, this world felt alien to him, he had barely spoken with the three boys he shared a dormitory with, on the first night they'd had a brief who are you, where are you from, what do you parents do type of discussion and then had fallen asleep. The other boys had gone to breakfast by the time he awoke and when he arrived at his lesson he found no space at their desk, so he had sat alone, concentrating on his work. Because of this the other boys had began to form a small unit, they had attempted to include him towards the end of their first week, but the full moon had arrived, his ever present curse, and when he had returned, telling them his mother had been ill, they had become closer still to each other. He had never felt more alone.

It had been a bad idea for him to come here and he knew it, when his Hogwarts letter had arrived, accompanied by a note from Dumbledore explaining the provisions that would be put in place in order for him to attend with as little danger and disruption as possible, he had been more excited that any eleven year old boy could have been before, he had counted the days down enthusiastically and packed almost a week in advance.

In fact, it wasn't until he had boarded the train and waved goodbye to his parents that he even began to consider the possibility that this was not what he wanted, even then he forced himself to believe that he would make friends, but every compartment he considered entering seemed more frightening than the last until he eventually settled for walking up and down the train, alone, for the bulk of the journey.

He hadn't even been alone the whole time he was here, and he was finding his lessons thoroughly enjoyable, he even found he did not mind having homework to do, in fact, homework kept him busy and the busier he was the less time he had to dwell on his loneliness and on how much he missed his family, how much he would love to feel his mother's arms around him, pulling him in for a maternal hug that he would pull away from, scarlet with embarrassment, but that made him feel warm inside all the same.

The tears were rolling down his cheeks before he even realised they had begun to fall, he buried his face into his knees, angry with himself for letting his emotions pour out, he wiped furiously at his eyes and didn't notice the door to the dormitory open, he froze when he heard the voices of his room mates.

"Not bad Jamie, really, not bad."

"Not bad? Is that all you can say? It was _brilliant_. Worth a week's worth of detentions, no bother!"

"Would've been better if you hadn't got caught." They hadn't noticed him. Remus wondered if he could avoid speaking to them if he stayed very, very still. He didn't want them to notice he had been crying, and they inevitably would, the tears were still falling and he could do nothing to prevent them. He swallowed hard, but it was too late, the taller of the boys, Sirius, had spotted him.

"Hey Remus, you alright?" He didn't move but mumbled an answer in the affirmative. James, unconvinced, sat down in front of him, crossing his arms across his chest he smiled at Remus, finding his eyes through the gaps in his arms.

"What's up, mate?"

"Nothing." He mumbled. Peter, who was shorter even than Remus and fairly plump, but had a kind face, placed a hand on his shoulder, slowly Remus lifted his head, knowing it was pointless to pretend he wasn't upset when it was more than obvious to his fellow Gryffindor first years that he was. James slung a friendly arm around his shoulders and Peter and Sirius sat beside them.

No one said anything but it was a curious sight, the boys were so small that they covered a very tiny amount of floor space but they were huddled so closely together that it looked as though they had been crammed into an overly miniscule space.

"Who's upset you? Jamie can hex them, he did just did a brilliant one on that creepy Snivellus!" Sirius beamed but Remus said nothing, _Snivellus_, his real name was Severus, was indeed very creepy, and had upset Remus more than once over the last fortnight, he more than deserved to be hexed, Remus was sure of that. "Remus?"

"No one…. I just…" He shrugged James' arm away and stared out the window, shame obvious as he blinked back a fresh set of tears. He mumbled out the last few words, they were barely intelligible. "Ijustmissmymum." He said, without taking a breath. Peter and Sirius looked confused, but James smiled and turned Remus around gently, placing the protective arm about his narrow shoulders once again.

"I miss my mum too."

"You don't seem upset…" Remus mumbled, suddenly open to baring all, his fear over the past weeks that he was the only one feeling like this suddenly becoming expelled.

"I miss my mum as well." Peter said, smiling encouragingly at Remus. Everyone turned to Sirius expectantly but he just shrugged.

"I don't miss my mum, she wants me dead, remember?" They stared at him for a moment, unsure what to say, but when Sirius grinned James and Peter began to laugh. Smiling at last, Remus began to join in. Sirius' mother had sent him a particularly vicious howler for being sorted into Gryffindor and he had had no contact with his family since. This had been part of the reason for Remus' embarrassment, he got a letter from his parents every day, and missed them so much it had actually become painful, and yet Sirius, who appeared to have had all ties with his family severed the second the sorting had touched his head, did not seem remotely bothered.

But they weren't laughing at him. They didn't think he was stupid, or pathetic, or a baby. They were being nice about it, very nice. They weren't horrible and they weren't going to bully him. Maybe, and it was just a maybe because Remus barely dared hope it was actually true, but maybe, they wanted to be his _friends_. Friends. The word resounded inside his head after he had thought it, it was such a magical word with so many connotations, but it meant so much to Remus, it meant…hope. Perhaps he might fit into Hogwarts after all.

"Come on Remus, we're absolutely starving, Sirius' stomach was rumbling all the way up here, but we didn't want to go to dinner without you." James said, holding out his hand as he stood up, Remus took it and allowed himself to be hauled to his feet. Yes, he might well fit in here just fine, with friends, with the hope.

**A/N: Please review, reviews will make me smile!**

**Hope you enjoyed it anyway, I've been feeling incredibly homesick this week & thought if I wrote something about homesickness it might help me put that in perspective (I **_**think**_** it's worked. Slightly.) and as Remus is the marauder I identify most, I chose to make him the homesick one… anyway, I feel better now and Remus has friends! **


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